Sam Loves... One Million Years B.C.

Our new feature is all about those things in the wide world of film we just plain love, whether that be a director, a movement, a recurring joke or theme and, of course, a film. There is no pomposity here, this is pure childlike love and in my opinion Sam's first entry perfectly personifies that attitude. 

Chances are you haven’t seen ‘One Million Years B.C.’

That’s not me being a snob and lording over you with a choice “oh so obscure” truth is ‘One Million Years B.C.’ isn’t that good, it’s schlocky, hammy and apart from a few retro dino fights, quite forgettable. It was made by Hammer Film Productions in 1966 and was a remake of 1940 Hollywood film ‘One Million B.C.’ It is set – very loosely – in the time of the cavemen and is ridiculously ahistorical (a word I just discovered on Wikipedia and have instantly grown quite fond of) pitting scantily clad cave dwellers against a whole heap of prehistoric scaly monsters. Despite attempting to trick gullible film-goers into thinking it was an accurate portrayal of cave life, running a tagline of “This is the way it was”, ‘OMYBC’ couldn’t fool snooty college types but as Ray Harryhausen, stop motion animation legend and creator of the wonderful dinosaur moments in the film, said he did not make One Million Years B.C. for "professors" who in his opinion "probably don't go to see these kinds of movies anyway.”

Even though I’ve begun this in a very negative light I have to say I feel naught but love for this film. I adore the shoddy B-Movie nature of it, I love how it makes no historical sense, I dig how the cavemen are so unkempt and shaggy yet the cave ladies are preened and quaffed like true Hollywood starlets, I can’t get enough of those stop motion dino fights, I praise the pompous narration of the film and my word it is so damn cracking that the characters speak in names, grunts and vulgar looks. However, the real reason that I have plumped for this as the first film I love is also the one thing that anyone not fond of hammer B-movies will know this film for: Raquel Welch. Specifically for this image...

Honestly, If you search this film on google all you will get is about 3 pages of variations on this pose.

A picture I have two of on my wall. They are no different, apart from one is in colour and one is in black and white, but I have two for a very significant personal reason. This image was the very first time I knew for absolute certain that I fancied ladies (I will try my best not to sound creepy from here on in). Not to say that before Raquel came along I was yearning over pictures of Sean Connery in swimwear it’s just that by that point I’d not really cobbled together the whole idea of women as anything more than nice smelling friends of my sisters.

I’m not sure quite how much you’d want me to expand on this… it’s not in any way a seedy or frightening thing. I can put my hand on my heart and say that I have never attempted to stalk Raquel Welch, steal something belonging to Raquel Welch, paid over the odds for an object belonging to Raquel Welch or done anything of a questionable nature with, to, around, about or involving Raquel Welch. It’s just that from that moment when I first spied the image of her in that fur bikini, caveman wind blowing through her hair I knew that these things they call women were my kind of bag. It seems quite an odd thing to admit to, and I’d imagine an even stranger thing to read, OMYBC has in no other way influenced my life, some of the other films I will gush about for this section will be one’s that made me somewhat different, changed how I looked at the world, reflected a feeling I couldn't put into words, was the first 18 rated film I saw or made me discover the joys of a type of film-making then unknown to me. Not OMYBC, I may as well just say that it is Raquel Welch I love, and I do. Perhaps Alan Partridge said it best when he called her a “historically inaccurate sexy bikini sex woman.”

In fact, that now seems like a weird way to end this. But hey ho I’ve written it now and am way too tired to press backspace. So there it is, now bate your breath in preparation for Joe’s first films I love feature, where he will no doubt say some very clever things about juxtaposition and how a film has drastically altered his emotional perception of a feeling or time in this world that made him go “J’aime”all the while making me look like a Stella-drinking-Nuts-reader. Sorry I’ve rambled a touch, suffice to say “J’adore Raquel Welch (In One Million Years B.C.”

SO

Review: Moonrise Kingdom

Most of us probably know how we feel about Wes Anderson. I don't really like the Marmite slogan "You either love it or you hate it" mainly because I will eat Marmite every now and then (mostly when I am with Sam) and I'm cool with it but I don't eat it everyday, I wouldn't characterize that as love or hate. The things I love I struggle not to at least think about every single day and the things I hate I look at, turn to the nearest person and express my displeasure that it has today met my line of sight. I also wouldn't call it like because to like something you have to frequent it and my consumption of Marmite is on a purely bi-yearly basis.........what was I saying? Right, Wes Anderson. So I won't say he is a love or hate director but he is definitely a director whose films you will watch and know right away that he is or isn't worth the rest of your time. In my opinion he is worth all the time in the world.

Wes Anderson has, at least for me, a very indescribable quality that makes his films a bit hard to review without this turning into around 700 words of just babbling soppy love. So let this picture be the description of that special spark. 

His films rarely show conventional people or attitudes, I'd say the people are often exaggerations of very vulnerable human emotions. In Moonrise Kingdom we are shown around the New England Island of New Penzance in the 60s (another odd quality of Wes Anderson movies is that they always appear to be taking place in the 60s but, and please correct me if I am wrong, this is the first to actually be set in the 60s). This island, and the land surrounding it, are a hot spot for scouts and at the start of the film a young outcast scout, Sam, has flown the coup to meet the daughter of a pair of lawyers, who live on the island. From there it's a story of young love and escapism. The story is consistently wonderful but is sorely lacking in the strong emotional punch offered by many other Anderson's, this punch of sadness is instead swapped for and nostalgic glow, that offers a little undercurrent of melancholy throughout. I'm not saying it's an unfair trade but it's something I really missed.

When it comes to the characters no one, and I mean absolutely no one, is a dud. They all play an important part and at sometime or another get a hilarious joke or look of some kind. It's also a film that keeps throwing out new characters that add to the comedic glee like Jason Schwartzman as cousin B who is spectacularly hilarious and every moment he and his beautiful moustache graced the screen, I was holding in a giggle. Bob Balaban as the narrator also has this quality and yet manages to relay important bits of plot without making the film seem insincere. Edward Norton has to be the main surprise for me though. Don't get me wrong, the guy is a great actor and films like Fight Club and The Painted Veil wouldn't be the same without him, but I wasn't sure how he would fit into the Wes Anderson way of acting and yet he nailed it in every regard. He really does give off that aura of a volunteer who is far to emotionally attached to their job. Bruce Willis gives the film it's most poignant scene when he cooks Sam dinner and shares his beer telling him quite honestly that Sam is probably smarter than him. Of course you can't really talk about the characters without talking about the two most important ones. Suzy and Sam are sublime and at times they're extraordinary real. The film can also make you feel almost voyeuristic as we watch their first kiss and exchange of  'I love you'. It's that quality though that elevates their relationship beyond young love and into something more honest and heartfelt. Also the rest of the scouts as a unit are pretty brilliant but not as good as they're nicknames and their odd conversations with Sam where the stupid and yet simplistically divine logic of childhood is displayed. Oh and of course Bill Murray, with an axe.

An other equally important chunk of Wes Anderson movies is the clear stylised look. From the great artwork on the front of Suzy's library books (am I the only one that has an almost perverted love of dust jackets.......). The tidal maps to the way to camera is framed and moved through the world and the striking image at the end of the film. This is an incredibly stylish work but one that knows how to focus itself. I always felt like The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou was a drastic case of style over substance, but this film manages to hold onto all the great stylistic quirks of Wes Anderson but it never lets that take away from the people themselves. Then there is the music composed by the now incredibly prolific Alexandre Desplat that keeps the films jaunty and yet honest tone. 

I don't want to sit here and say that this is his best film but in some regards it is. Maybe it's not as moving a story as The Darjeeling Limited and it certainly doesn't have a staged production of Serpico like Rushmore but what it is is a wonderfully charming and insightful film that I loved every second of, and trust me that's not an overstatement, the smile never left my face. Now where's that Marmite, I really fancy some toast. 

JO

Note: Sorry about how hiatus but dude, I'm sure you were fine, I know I was. If you weren't fine or you blame us for the collapse of your daily life please direct all complaints or friendly criticism to thebrotherscinemazov@gmail.com

Sam Says: I work in a cinema, coz i'm hella cool, and as a result saw the trailer for Moonrise Kingdom about 25 times. Normally, even for the most amazing trailer this would be far too many times to still love it. Yet every time i laughed out loud and was swept up in it's gloriously kooky sweetness. (that bit when Sam says "No i said what bird are you?" and points at Suzy once made me laugh so hard I scared an old lady.) Now after a build up of that degree i was understandably apprehensive about how much I'd actually dig it, 23 seconds into this beautifully, hilariously tender and sweet love story i was absolutely hooked. I feel confident in saying it's Anderson's best  work yet. and easily the most beautifully amazingly touching love story I've seen in years. Plus Bruce Willis was in it and Edward Norton's short shorts and an amazing mustachioed scout master cameo. Long live Wes Anderson. 5/5.