I can’t honestly say if you’ll be aware of the story of this particular Christmas classic. You see it is a slightly obscure tale filmed in Black and White in the 50’s based on this story that was written back in the 1800's by a little known author named Charles Dickens, apparently he stole the story of the musical Oliver! and turned it into a book. Well, let us press on and I shall do my best to tell you the tale of…
SCROOGE (1951)
The Christmas Story
Scrooge tells the tale of a crotchety old miser called Ebenezer Scrooge, a man ‘not in the habit of keeping Christmas’ who is a right Christmas kill-joy. He begrudges his workers time off on Christmas Day, yells at ghosts and scares off lovely carol singing kids and poor blind beggars. On the eve of Christmas he is visited by his old boss Jacob Marley who tells him he must change his scrooge-like ways or be doomed, DOOMED I SAY. So Marley enlists the help of three Christmas spirits to show him that – hold on, this story is pretty much a carbon copy of the one in The Muppet’s Christmas Carol only without songs and without Muppets. Therefore the story is, I suppose, a Christmas classic… which is nice. 5/5.
The Voice of Christmas
Mr Fezziwig is the only person I can spy who embodies the Voice of Christmas role, the Cratchit family are all about Christmas but are excitable in such an over the top sickly way that I thought it best to avoid them. Also the Cratchit family aren’t played by Kermit and Miss Piggy and their subsequent offspring. So back to Mr Fezziwig,even Scrooge himself, who is mad scrooge-like agrees that he incites happiness, merriment and joy into every single person he meets. He says barely any lines but embodies the voice of Christmas in a splendid barely glimpsed Christmas jig and when he refuses money from a businessman to spare the jobs and feeling of his employees. PLUS when Scrooge leaves his employ we hear that Fezziwig wished him good luck and had no hard feelings towards his abandonment. Although, he isn’t played by Fozzie Bear, so that’s a point off right there. The Ghost of Christmas Present is pretty darn festive and full of Christmas joy, but he isn’t played by a little absent minded spirit. Or should that be a large absent minded spirit? 3.5/5
The Annoying Li’l Girl (At Christmas)
Jacob Marley is such a little whiner, he screams and moans and beefs like a good ‘un. When he first arrives on the scene he is malevolent, ghostly and quite eerily spooky but after awhile he abandons all sense of spooky decorum and instead screams, shrieks and hollers every line he has. Which makes his message of fear and repentance somewhat less serious and quite a bit more, well, humorous? Plus his message isn’t delivered in the form of an ace song by Statler and Waldorf, making him all the more irksome. 3.5/5
The Christmas Miracle
Surely by now you know the drill? Scrooge repents his awful evil ways and embraces the feelings of kindness, joy, goodwill, jumping and laughing. I suppose the real miracle here is that no one tries to get Scrooge committed to the loony bin when he wakes up full of Christmas beans on Christmas Day. He jumps, skips, sings, dances and even tries to stand on his head and his laugh, he laughs like how the Joker laughs. It’d be like if one day during the Nuremburg Rally Hitler had stood smiled gaily, sang traditional Jewish songs and then started break dancing, it’s that mad a transformation doesn’t help that Sim plays it a bit mad he already has the shock of white mad professor hair. PLUS Tiny Tim isn’t really that tiny, it’s miraculous that no one, not even the boy himself says “Erm, I’m actually as tall as everyone else. Cut it out!” 4/5
The Christmas Message
Stop for a moment and think of something you have done that you are really proud of. It could be a story you wrote, a poem you penned, a meal you cooked, a film you shot, a dress you made, anything! Got it? Good. Now to understand Scrooge’s Christmas message you must accept the fact that whatever you chose that you are proud of could at any point be taken by the Muppets and made at least 15 times better. Once you have come to terms with that then you have come to terms with what the message of Scrooge really is. 3/5
Additional Notes
-The language is pure Dickens and as a result a joy to listen to – “I don’t make business in the face of inclement weather.” (+1)
-Alastair Sim’s Scrooge is good, but Caine’s is better. (-1)
-It made me really really excited to watch The Muppet’s Christmas Carol. (+2)
-It’s good, but it doesn’t use Muppets. Literally everything this film does is done by the Muppets but done better and with more warmth, humour and feeling. It’s a good rendition of the Classic Dickensian tale but compared to The Muppet’s Christmas Carol it pales in comparison. (-4)
OVERALL FESTIVITY RATING – 17/25 (Although if you haven’t got a fond spot in your heart for The Muppet’s Christmas Carol add at least 5 marks.)
Tomorrow Bad Santa Coz we can't have you all getting too bogged down in Christmas joy and happiness.
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