Gremlins is a film that falls into the Die Hard category. It's a movie at Christmas, not a Christmas movie. When you look at the credits for Gremlins it all gets a bit confusing. Chris Columbus (Director of The First two Potters and the first twoHome Alones) is writer. Joe Dante (Small Soldiers) is Directing and we have Spielberg as Executive Producer. Amazingly all those influences shine through. Does all of that mean Gremlins is the most festive creature feature yet?
The Christmas Story
Imagine if you will you're in town trying to figure out what present to get your son. You go into Waterstones to see if they have the new P.D.James novel but it's sold out. You visit HMV to see if season seven of How I Met Your Mother is out. It isn't. You even go into Lush to brave the obnoxious sales assistants but all they have is 'Male Moisturizer' that smells of Play-doh. Just as you are about to give up you remember he has a bit of a thing for traditional Chinese decor and you decide to visit your local Chinatown. Short round from Temple of Doom is there and he says his Granddad sells some stellar stuff. You go in a spot a small furry singing creature you have never seen before and think "My son would love that!" The guy behind the counter won't sell it to you though. It's to great a responsibility. But the Grandson knows they are strapped for cash and meets you out back to sell it to you anyway. There are rules to follow to make sure it doesn't die or worse turn into thousands of evil creatures. You give the creature to you son but those rules are quickly broken and the worst happens. Your son then manages (with the help of his girlfriend and a cute Mogwai that won't turn evil) to fight off the swarm of evil. Oh, and it is Christmas. That's the story.....tis the season after all. As Rockin' Ricky Rialto says "This is Christmas not Halloween" 2/5
The Voice of Christmas
I will tell you one thing for certain. Kate Beringer is not the voice of Christmas. Not only does she lash out at Billy when he asks why shes doesn't celebrate Christmas but when all hell breaks loose and the Gremlins are messing up everything she busts out the most depressing story of her father getting stuck in the chimney dressed as Santa. How did she find out about this? The smell of burning flesh coming from the chimney. Well thanks alot Kate, I really am in the festive mood now. You know who is the complete opposite of her though? The Gremlins. It's Christmas time and boy do they know how to celebrate it. They get drunk, gamble, laugh all the time and go to the Cinema to watch Snow White. You can't say they aren't happy and happiness is what Christmas is all about. 3/5
The Annoying Kid at Christmas
There is no one more annoying and childish in Gremlins than Mrs Deagle. Even that name sounds like a Dickens villain. She threatens to torture a dog, doesn't give a starving family a break even though they are on the up and it's Christmas and she does the worst thing anyone can do, cuts in line. She does it at least 3 times in this movie alone and that is the most annoying thing anyone can do. 3/5
The Christmas Miracle
I am pretty sure alot of people die in this film. It's not clear how many as you see very few limp, lifeless corpses but you can be sure a good portion of the people set on fire and thrown out of windows don't make it to New Years. That being said, more people should have died. When you think about all the havoc the Grmelins cause, all the explosions and guns fired and the general incompetence of the police department, that town should have been obliterated and everyone in that town should've been scared for life. But it's Christmas so everyone is alright in the end. IT'S A MIRACLE! 3/5
The Christmas Message
.....Dude. I don't know. "Before you call the repair man, turn on all the lights" Is that a Christmas message? Sure. 1/5
Addition Point
-Footage from It's a Wonderful Life, Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Snow White +1
-All the Crazy invention +1
-How lovely the Peltzer family are to each other +1
-The Sick ass credit music +1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHsPQMHkI7o&feature=related
Festivity Rating 16/25
Tomorrow March of the Wooden Soldiers Cause Laurel & Hardy should Be On Every List
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