Today we are being treated to a real life actual person who writes things and get money given to them for it! So be nice and send money to his paypal because I know I'm not going to. Anyway, Jon is nice and he has glasses and a beard as well so it won't be too much of a culture shock for you guys.
Back in the funky-smelling mists of 2004, Harold & Kumar Get the Munchies - or Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, to our friends across the water - arrived to a chorus of scratched heads from critics and modest ticket sales. In spite of this, the mixed race stoner bromance went on to clock up a legion of fans and two sequels, cementing the pair’s reputation as the Cheech and Chong of the new millennium.
In 2011, they turned in their second sequel - following the headline baiting Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay - which boasted not one but two big gimmicks: Not only was it screening in 3D, it was also a Christmas film. And so we come to A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, the festive tale of two estranged fratboys embarking on a screwball journey to save the newly-rehabilitated Harold’s Christmas, when his father-in-law’s prize fir tree is burnt down by an errant joint. Along the way they end up entangled with teen drinkers, Russian gangsters, a robot that makes waffles and Neil Patrick Harris. All of this whilst taking gleeful advantage of the stereoscopic effects.
The Christmas Story
Harold & Kumar is a surprisingly Christmassy Christmas film, but not in the usual way. It doesn’t trouble itself with the typical holiday themes of family, love and spreading cheer to the less fortunate, as it joyfully sloshes around in quasi Farrelly Brothers filth. However, the plot centres around the pair trying to score a new Christmas tree to impress Harold’s militantly pro-Christmas father-in-law - portrayed by Easter-Island-head-with-a-ponytail Danny Trejo - and that’s pretty bloody Christmassy, isn’t it?
3/5
The Voice of Christmas
Nobody’s really into Christmas in this film. Not really.
1/5
The Annoying Kid at Christmas
In this case, the annoying kid is the infant daughter of Harold’s straight-laced pal Todd. She temporarily develops superpowers when she huffs a faceful of coke. Not much of a Tiny Tim figure, then.
2/5
The Christmas Miracle
At the start of the film, we’re faced with sad prospect of a Kumar who’s been struck off the medial register and struck down with distinctly heavy news that he’s going to be a father. The third act brings his redemption though, as he’s tasked with fishing a shotgun shell out of Santa Claus’s head. It’s heartwarming stuff, but unlikely to get him his medical licence back. How’s he going to feed that baby, eh?
1/5
The Christmas Message
Pass the blunt.
5/5
Additional Points
- Bows to the genre staple of not including any good female characters -1
- Neil Patrick Harris gets a handjob on Jesus’ sofa +1
- Jesus is played by that guy from Let’s Be Cops -1
- Opening features a smoke ring morphing into a Christmas wreath +1
- Ends with Santa Claus honking a bong in his sleigh +1
Conclusion
It’s a loud, crass, weird, gross-out flick and certainly not your average holiday outing, but with a high gag rate and a little bit of charm, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is well worth 90 minutes of your time over the festive season. There’s nothing here to warm the heart, but plenty to wam the lungs, and let’s be honest them organs are very close to one another.
13/25
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