Disney are awesome. I know they have dropped the ball on more than one occasion *cough* Brother Bear *cough* but despite that they always come back. For me (and most people my age) Disney's golden age came about with the likes of Beauty & the Beast. For the little girls there was singing and fairy tale style romance. And for little boys there was a big hairy monster and wolves. Anyway, for those of you that aren't up on your straight-to-video Disney releases, they aren't all utter rubbish. You have that Aladdin one about the fifty thieves, this Beauty and the Beast Christmas special and....well that's about it. But lets hear about the latter,
Beauty & the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
The Christmas Story
It's Christmas time in the cursed castle and Belle is starting to warm up to the Beast. Pretty much everyone in the castle has forgotten the joy of Christmas due to the Beasts hatred of it (it was the day he was transformed after all). Belle isn't having any of it though. She decides that if she can set up a spectacular Christmas celebration, with the help of all the enchanted bric-a-brac, the Beast will find joy in it once more. However there is a giant evil organ (Played by Tim Curry, of course) that doesn't want anyone to be happy because if that happens the curse will be lifted and the Beast won't need him anymore. It's a pretty ridiculous motivation for a villain but I suppose sentient organs are allowed to be a bit silly. The whole thing comes to a dramatic climax where Belle and chip the tea-cup risk their lives for a Christmas tree and the Organ tries to walk.....Moving swiftly on... 3/5
The Voice of Christmas
Well of course it is Belle. She ignores all naysayers in her quest to bring joy to the castle and in the end brings everyone under her banner of Christmas joy. Even when she is locked in a jail cell she still sings a stirring Christmas melody. Oddly the one new Christmassy character introduced in this special isn't infused with the same spirit. She is more like a stressy Parisian wedding planner than Christmas miracle. 4/5
The Annoying Kid at Christmas
Chip is the obvious contender but, I don't know, he is so chippy (excuse the pun) that he never got on my nerves even though his endeavor for the perfect tree nearly gets himself and Belle killed. No the most annoying character here has to be Fife. He is the personification of annoying children; an out of tune recorder. He is selfish, and being selfish is what the annoying kid is all about. In the end he learns a lesson and owns up to his mistakes. Stellar. 4/5
The Christmas Miracle
This film is supposed to take part half-way through the original film. To be precise, after the Beast rescues Belle from the wolf pack but before they do the iconic ballroom dance. Using this knowledge we can divine that in that space of about two weeks, the castle is ripped into two bits, a whole room is totally destroyed and a giant evil organ that can cause music to attack people collapses in on itself. The Castle is then completely fixed ,but, Fife disappears only to reappear the following Christmas human again. And for whatever reason this wasn't deemed important enough to be put in the original film. And no one in the first film even mentions this disaster. If you think that is a bit too meta, then it's a miracle that a talking axe has discovered Judaism in 18th Century France and is adopting the mannerisms of a 63 year old Jewish deli accountant from New York. 5/5
The Christmas Message
This is a Christmas message that the girl in Gremlins needs to hear. Just because you had one bad Christmas doesn't mean you should write it off. It's a time for joy and forgiveness so forgive that bad year and come together for the holiday season. 4/5
Additional Notes
-When Tim Curry sings 'Deck The Halls' like he wants to kill himself +1
-Some of the songs are actually quite catchy +1
-It doesn't make any sense in the B&B timeline -3
-Childhood memories tainting my vision +1
-Compare it to the first film and it collapses -1
Festivity Rating 18/25
JO
Tomorrow Scrooged Cos Bill Murray is natures Scrooge.
No comments:
Post a Comment